Birthdays

Bismillaah.

A few days ago, I turned 33 years old.  Alhamdu lillaah for another year! I pray that my good deeds were plenty and accepted, and that my sins were few and forgiven, ameen.

There was a time in my life when my birthday was a big deal.  The one day in the year that was “my day”, where I basked in attention from family, friends and associates, in the form of gifts, cards, money and parties.  A day where I could “do what I wanna do”, simply because x amount of years before, I happened to be born on that day.  A day that was like no other.

When you grow up in a society where celebrating birthdays is such a big part of everyday life, the only logical result is that you, too, will make it a big part of your life.  Regardless of whether or not you are aware of the origins of this practice, or understand what taking part in it says about you.  (“Whoever imitates a people, is one of them” -Prophet Muhammad).

It’s been over 12 years since Allaah guided me back to Islam, opening my eyes to the beauty of this way of life, and closing my heart to all that opposes it.  Alhamdu lillaah. I no longer celebrate birthdays, not just because of the origins of doing so, but because in Islam, celebrating holidays is a form of worship, and Our Creator, the Most High, ordained our holidays for us: Eid al Fitr (immediately following Ramadan), Eid al Ad’ha (immediately following hajj), and the 6th day of the week, Friday.  To observe these days in a festive manner is sunnah.  It is what our prophet – peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him – and his companions did, as well as those who followed in their footsteps in the earlier – and latter – generations.  To add other days to what Allaah has already ordained, to me, says that we’re not satisfied with what Allaah gave us, so we need to add more.  To make it better…….To make it better? Really?

“This day, I have perfected your religion for you, completed My Favour upon you, and have chosen for you Islam as your religion.” (Qur’an, Al-Ma’idah: 3)

There is nothing we can add to this religion to make it better, because it is already perfect!  For all times, for all lands, for all peoples…PERFECT!

This particular year I spent my birthday doing normal mundane (and a few exciting) things.  I spent it as I normally would spend any other Friday: family breakfast of pancakes; getting the guys ready for Jumu’ah prayer; distributing allowance; making lunch; trying to make time to read Surat Al- Kahf; answering the doorbell a dozen times because kids just love to run in and out of the house all day long…hahaha, you know how weekends are

Was invited to a small dinner party/reunion at a friend’s house.  Had a great time seeing and catching up with good sisterfriends.  Joked with the sisters and kids about the dessert being my “birthday cake”, lol!

After that went to a party at another friend’s house in honor of her 5-year old daughter who had just finished memorizing 1/30 of the Qur’an!  That was one proud mama, she REALLY did it up for her daughter, Mashaa Allaah

Although it was my birthday, I didn’t receive any presents, money, cards, etc.  (I did get quite a few Facebook wall posts from my “peoples”, which I appreciated), and  you know what?  I don’t feel any less loved, cherished by, or important to any of my loved ones.  I know my “peoples” love me, because they show it in so many other ways, on so many other days and occasions.  And that’s what makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, not one day of the year.

Hey look, I’m not one to preach, nor compel anyone to follow my way of thinking.  This post is what it is, nothing more, nothing less: sharing information.  I’m sure it may surprise some people that I no longer celebrate birthdays, so I thought a little infosharing was appropriate.

I know there are people reading this who will not agree with what I’m saying.  And you know what?  That’s okay with me!  Because in the end, to each their own.

May Allaah guide us all to what is pleasing to Him, ameen.

Be Inspired!

Bismillaah.

I have been very busy lately, and so, not really able to write for the blog as I’d like to.  Regardless of the fact that I have, like,  a DOZEN or so topics I really want to write about.   But anyway…I’ll get to it sooner or later, inshaa Allaah!

In the meantime, I’d like you to check out this beautiful, inspiring website I came upon a little while ago.  It’s called ‘I Got It Covered‘, and it’s all about hijab.  It is sooooo cool mashaa Allaah!  I fell in love with it from first reading.  May Allaah bless the sisters who run it, ameen.

The month of may has been “Reader Take-over Month”, where readers send in their hijab stories.  Mashaa Allaah, ALL of the stories are just so inspiring and touching.  Many of them remind me of my own hijab journey (will write about it another time inshaa Allaah). Take a look if you have time…BE INSPIRED!

Couldn’t have said it better myself…

Bismillaah.

While doing my daily readings of U.S. and World news this morning, I couldn’t help but become saddened, annoyed, disgusted, angered, and just plain blown at what I read here.

God only knows when this assault on Islam is going to stop.

(sigh)

To be honest I don’t have much to say on it.  Frankly, I’m tired of talking.  Islam and the beauty and purity that lie within is as clear as the morning sun on a cloudless day, to the one who has been blessed with an open heart and mind.  If you haven’t been blessed with such, well, then may the Gracious Lord in the heavens above help you, ameen.

What I’ll do is just leave you with these words from an article I received in my inbox today (written by a sister by the way ) :

“It seems to me that the push for women in society to become loud, loose, lager louts is not some back room conspiracy but rather the natural progression of a consumerist society wishing to tap into the spending power of every consumer group available. Selling the lifestyle of shopping, drinking and attracting as many sexual partners as possible makes young women active consumers in society. As for the soft pornography that has saturated western society on (it sometimes seems) every magazine cover, billboard, music video and television programme, it is simply a manifestation of the advertising adage that ‘sex sells’. Young women are simply the meat in the sandwich of capitalism – a market to be exploited, rather than a generation to be cherished.

Contrast this with the niqab-wearing Muslim woman who attempts to foster a closer connection with her Creator and concentrate on her inner being rather than pandering to changing social norms. Such women  seek the pleasure of Allah by trying to live the example of our role models as Muslim women – the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).  In a world full of a cacophony of discordant ‘muzak’ the niqab is like noise-cancelling headphones.“

Nuff said!

Some Eid Reflections

Bismillaah.

I know, I know…late!  But hey, better later than never, right?

Well, the kids have returned to school after a long break that was extended due to the fact that their school closed a week earlier than the scheduled Eid break, because of several confirmed swine flu cases.  So yeah, the break was longer than expected, but alhamdu lillaah the Eid holiday made it very enjoyable, but by the end of it everyone was ready for it to be over (cabin fever).

So the house is quiet now and I have some time to relax and just sort of lollygag as much as I want…oh yeah, and blog too .

I was just sitting here reflecting on the day of Eid.  As many of you are aware (maybe not some of the non-muslim readers), Eid al Adha (festival of the sacrifice) commemorates the story of Prophet Ibrahim and how Allaah ordered him to sacrifice his son Ismail.  Ibrahim, in his commitment as a believer and prophet to fulfill Allaah’s commands, took to following through with it, but not before discussing it with his son Ismail.  Ismail’s reply to his father, was for him to do as he has been ordered, and that he himself would be patient and trust in Allaah and would willingly follow through with the command of his Lord.   Because of their willingness to fulfill the command of their Lord, Allaah sent a ram to be sacrificed, instead of Ismail.  For muslims, the Eid represents a sort of recommitment and rededication to obedience to Allaah, by fulfilling His commands and abstaining from His prohibitions.  When we remember Ibrahim’s -the Father of monotheism – unwaivering commitment to Allaah and to His obedience, it should inspire us to live our lives the same way.

So anyway, back to the day of Eid.  We prayed at Masjid Bilal, our usual spot for Eid prayers, only this time we prayed indoors.  The garden out back that’s usually used was soaking wet from the surprising yet refreshing early morning downpour.  I missed praying in the garden, but I didn’t mind praying inside the mosque this time…it was nice and cozy, reminded me of the Eids back in Northern Virginia at the Saudi Ma’had.

After the prayer and sermon were over, as we were filing out of the mosque, we noticed that there was a sacrifice about to take place right outside the mosque on the patio.  There were several men holding onto and attempting to subdue a cow, preparing to sacrifice it.  When they finally were able to subdue it, and the butcher got down beside it to put the knife to it’s neck, and uttered the words, “Bismillaah, Allaahu Akbar!” (In Allaah’s name, Allaah is the Greatest!), I felt an overwhelming rush of emotions, that I can’t quite describe, and tears came to my eyes.

A little of it had to do with feeling pity and compassion for the animal, but deep inside, I knew that animal did not suffer for even one instant.  Aside from the scientific evidence which proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that the islamic way of animal slaughter is in fact the most -and probably the only – humane method…aside from this, I knew in my heart, and trusted fully, that Allaah would never command His creation to do a thing that would include mercilessness and barbarism (as some without proper knowledge have called it).

So no, the rush of emotions that I felt had more to do with a sense of amazement when as I was witnessing an act of true submission to the commands of Allaah.  Think about it for a moment if you will.  We are commanded to slaughter our animals in the most hands on, down and dirty kind of way.  Coming in close contact with the animal, feeling its warmth, looking into its eyes…putting a knife to its neck and taking its life, witnessing all that blood gushing forth as its body shakes uncontrollably cannot be an easy thing to do emotionally, psychologically, and physically.  I would bet that the average human being could not bring himself to perform such an act, even on an animal.  Nonetheless, as muslims, we have been commanded by Allaah to do just that.

It’s like Allaah is asking us, “Will you obey my commands, no matter how difficult they may seem, no matter how heavy they may seem? Will you trust that I know what’s best for you because I created you and I know you better than you know yourself?  Or will you resort to your own way of thinking and perceiving things, and try to do things your own way because your way seems to be easier and more proper?”

In many countries around the world, policy makers have actually resorted to their own ways of thinking, and you see that animal slaughtering has become a hands-off task, handled by machines, gas chambers and electrical shock devices.  It is believed that these ways are for the benefit of the animal because they (appear to) suffer less, but really, these ways are for nothing other than to ease mankind’s own consciences.  It is understandable that no normal, sane human being likes to see another living thing suffer, and because of the goriness of it, animals are perceived to suffer by being slaughtered, which is not the case, and has been proven in the above-mentioned article.

So as I was witnessing the sacrifice on Eid day, witnessing these brothers fulfilling the commands of Allaah, getting themselves covered in blood, mentioning Allaah’s greatness, remembering that Allaah chose the most merciful way for these animals to die, I felt proud to be a part of this noble religion and noble ummah, the ummah of “We have heard, and we have obeyed!”.

I felt blessed for having been guided to this way of life that has been divinely revealed by a Merciful, All-Knowing God.

I felt tranquility and inner peace, knowing that everything Allaah commands us to do, it’s out of His love for us, and His wanting only what’s best for us…even the hard stuff that takes every ounce of faith inside of me to fulfill.

I thought about prophet Ibrahim, and how extremely difficult it must have been for him to even fathom taking his own son’s life.  As a mother, I try to imagine how absolutely sick with grief I would have been had it been me.  I thought about his and Ismail’s responses to Allaah’s command, and felt an overwhelming sense of admiration and respect for them- upon them be peace.

I pray that this Eid Al Adha was so much more than just about getting new clothes, going to the parties and eating lots of delicious meat dishes.  I pray that it was a time of sincere reflection, for all of us, on our purpose in life, which is to worship our Lord, sincerely, by fulfilling His commands and keeping away from His prohibitions, ameen.

The Proper (Islamic) Way to Propose to a Sister

Bismillaah.

May Allaah reward the brothers and sisters over at FitnaFreeFacebook, ameen.  If you are a facebook user, please check out their group, it is very beneficial mashaa Allaah.  I read this article on there today and decided to share.

~*The Proper Way to Propose to a Sister*~

What is the proper way to ask for a sister’s hand in marriage? In Islam, what is permissible and what is not when it comes to this issue? Can we talk to the sister first, maybe chat with her? Call her? Email? Or even go out for a few dates? Let’s find out below in a fatwa from Sheikh Salih al-Munnajid (May Allaah protect and preserve him). A young man asks what is the proper way to propose to a sister who his heart is inclined to marry.

Let’s take benefit from this insha’Allah!

Question: How should he tell her that he wants to marry her?

What is the correct way to approach a sister whom you intend to marry ? I’ve known this sister my entire life, in the same regard as my own blood sister and recently it was brought to my attention that she would be a perfect candidate for marriage. I believe she respects me, but I am unsure if she can accept me as her spouse. How can I know ? And what is the correct, halal way to approach ? I have nothing but the best intentions, yet my entire life I always felt I would marry her, yet out of respect I have never approached. My father and aunt (my mother has passed, allah yarham ha) are very fond of her and encourage me to pursue her, since they know her and her family extremly well.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

If a man feels that his heart is inclined towards a particular woman, he should follow the way that is permitted in Islam, which is marriage. If a person intends to marry a woman, he has to propose marriage to her through her wali (guardian), who is her father if he is alive, or one of her other close relatives. It is not permissible for a man to propose marriage to a woman who is not his mahram through ways that are not permissible according to sharee’ah, such as getting to know her or meeting her frequently or getting in touch with her often and speaking on the phone; these are means through which Iblees causes people to sin and which lead to regrettable consequences. It is not permissible for a person to justify his relationship with a girl by saying that she is like his sister and other silly excuses. You have to follow the proper channels as prescribed in Islam to marry this woman. When you propose marriage, it is o.k. if you try to win her over by giving her a gift through her wali. We ask Allaah to give us and you strength and to keep us away from haraam things. And Allaah is the Source of strength.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

IslamQa

Mashaa Allaah, a great reminder!  Brothers and Sisters, take heed to this advice.  Know that there is no good that can come from disobeying Allaah, no matter what the end goal is.  There is no good that can come from “cutting corners” around Allaah’s commands and prohibitions.  Our Lord, the most Knowledgeable and most Wise, has set certain guidelines for us in order to protect us from all kinds of harms, harms that we in our limited knowledge and wisdom may not perceive, or may perceive as miniscule.  What He has ordained for us is, simply, what is best for us.  He is our Creator, so He knows us better than we know ourselves!!!  Our belief in Allaah is not complete until we hate what He hates, and love what He loves, or in the very least, acknowledge that He has ordained is best.  May Allaah guide us all and rectify our affairs, ameen.