Made My Day

Bismillaah.

I just have to get something off my chest, and that is this:  aside from whomever he chose to share that information with, Michael Jackson’s Lord and Creator is the only One who knows whether or not he died as a muslim.  Not everyone, but indeed some people have been quite rude actually, in asserting their opinions.  I personally and sincerely hope with all my heart that he did in fact die as a muslim.  That man did a lot of good in his life with what Allaah granted him of wealth, and the perfect ending to such a life would be declaring the Oneness of the One who provided him with that wealth, and the truth of His message.

(Just had to get that off my chest.  Now, back to what I was saying 🙂 )

About 10 years ago, way back in the day…way, way, waaaaaaaaay back in the day, before marriage and children, I worked as a babysitter for a muslim family in Northern Virginia.  I actually wasn’t expecting to get the job, and was surprised when the mom called me and told me I had been hired.  She said that they decided to hire me after speaking with my references, and all of them referring to me with the same characteristic…”nice” – they all said I was nice.

Yeah, I guess you could say I was a pretty nice, laid back sister back then mashaa Allaah.  But is it just me, or does something happen to nice laid back people after marriage and children?  No really, seriously.  Over the years, I feel like I’ve turned into somewhat of a grouch.  Easily irritated, snappy, increasingly intolerant, etc.  As far as I can remember, I was never like that before.

I think it has a lot to do with increasing responsibilities.  Ten years ago, I didn’t have anyone to take care of other than myself.  I didn’t have anyone depending on me like I do today.  There was no one that Allaah had put in my care and trust, so you could say I was for the most part carefree.

The responsibilities of a wife and mother can be quite overwhelming at times, but I don’t – and I never have – liked feeling like a grouch about it.  It’s supposed to be one of the most fulfilling things in a person’s life.  Not a source of grouchiness.  I often worry about what effect my mood will have on my children in their lives.  When they get older, I do want my kids to remember me as the happy-go-lucky type of mom.  Who was always pleasant and smiling in their faces.   Not Oscar the Grouch.

So that’s why I couldn’t stop smiling on the way home from my Qur’an exam yesterday.  I was grinning ear to ear as I walked the 2 blocks home.  Alhamdu lillaah I wear niqab, otherwise someone might have taken me for a “street talker” – you know the ones who walk around the neighborhood in a daze, talking to, laughing at, and smiling to themselves.  Most inner-city neighborhoods have at least one…I know mine did.  But that’s neither here nor there….

So anyway, back to what made me smile.  After I finished my exam, I ran into an American sister I had met there at the school before.  She was sitting in the lobby with her kids waiting for a friend to finish up her exam.  As I made small talk with her, I played and joked with her children – a 6 year old boy and a 2 year old girl.  The kids were absolutely adorable mashaa Allaah, and very well-behaved.  A few minutes of chit chat went by and I had to get going.  I gave my salaams and made my way out the door.  Just as I got out the door, I could hear the boy saying to his mother,

“Mommy, that was a nice sister.”

[Asiya smiles]

Made my day.

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8 thoughts on “Made My Day

  1. so cute ma shaa Allah!

    I think ur pretty nice too!

    BTW, I think the grouchiness comes from a lack of support – you know “back in da day” people lived in tribes and everyone helped each other out. I remember hearing but never understood “it takes a whole village to raise a child”….It makes it a lot easier to be nice to our own kids and others…

    May Allah always keep you nice and sweet, just the way we like u!

    • Thanks habibty 🙂

      I agree with the “it takes a village”…it is very true. The only question is what are the limits of the “village”? And who makes up this “village”? Most Americans, and maybe even westerners in general, are not comfortable with the concept. Everyone’s got their own methodology and ideologies, which makes it hard for there to be a cohesive “village” unit…unless you’re talking about only aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.

  2. You are a nice sister. But I know what you you’re saying. My kids have started calling me ‘meany’, and I wasn’t known for being nice in the first place, lol! It is hard to maintain a sunny disposition with all we have to do, but it is temporary. Inshallah, you will one day have too much time on your hands and want your grand kids to visit to give you something to do 🙂

    • Awww thanks Umm Asiya! “Meany”! That’s funny, lol! My son is the only one who will say “you’re being mean to me!” when he’s not getting his way or what he wants. He’s a real trip!

      And who said you’ve never been known to be nice? You’re one of the most laid back, easy-going sisters I know mashaa Allaah. 🙂

  3. I dont know who makes up the village… but I think between the actual village (here in Egypt, you know how it is!) and the practices of the West, there has to be a compromise. Make ur own village!

    • Yes, I agree! The important thing is for everyone in the village to be on the same page as far as discipline techniques etc. For me, my family and even close friends are free to discipline my children, so long as it is constructive and effective. That’s how we were raised mashaa Allaah, but I think our generation…you know, the KNOW IT ALLS, as the old folks call us, :)…most of us aren’t too keen on the village concept. Another one of the many reasons why the fabrics of society, and, consequently, the world, is falling apart, in my opinion.

      Thanks for your insight, it’s always a welcome refreshment!

  4. maybe im not qualified ot speak on this – since i have no children or husband 🙂 but, i think you are just human and sometimes, humans get, higly irritated, have low tolerence etc… Even “nice” people experience these feelings from time to time. The thing to remember is that they are just that – feelings and an old friend once told me: “feelings are not fact”. i say that to say that just because you feel all of those ways doesn’t mean that you have changed who you are at the core/heart. At the end of the day – you are still a “nice” sister with many fleeting feelings 🙂 AND we all know that women can go through several series of emotions in an hour let alone a day – hey, it’s our right as women, granted to us by Allah 🙂

    For the other sisters: don’t let life’s circumstances change who you are. Things are not always going to go well, you may be somewhere and you thought things would be different but often times its not about what is going on in our lives, it is how we deal with it. Be thankful for everything, your husband, children, or in my case – single and carefree. sometimes i cry because i don’t have a husband 🙂 but, i am thankful for this time becuase i deeply feel that Allah is using this time to prepare me for being a wife – not just a wife, but an excellent wife. So, sisters cheer up. It’s easy to keep a sunny disposition – it’s called mind over matter 🙂

    if you don’t like something change it – if you can’t change it, change your attitude…..

    love you all for the sake of allah.

    Laila.

    • Laila! Your words were very uplifting and touching mashaa Allaah! I love you too for the sake of Allaah and pray that Allaah provides you with a righteous husband who will be a coolness to your eyes, and a garment for you from the trials of the dunya, ameen. Thank you so much for your insightful comments on my blog! 🙂

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